There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
