it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
