Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
