Your tits are I can't wait for
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
