love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
