I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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