you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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