I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
