nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
