He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
