she looked like the bat from fern gully.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
