I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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