you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
