i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
