dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
