The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I fill condoms, not promises.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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