i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
