even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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