she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
