woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
