i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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