Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize