I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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