She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's great music for shaving your balls
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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