i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
