OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just puked most of my soul out..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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