He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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