i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm like, not good at living.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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