so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
