his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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