And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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