we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
