That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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