Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
