Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
