i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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