Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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