I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
