I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
