Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You don't make any sense
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