i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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