I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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