Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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