dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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