the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
