I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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