Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hippo gnu deer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
