I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
