Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
