He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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