We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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