He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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