Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
