you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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