Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wanna passion pit in your ass
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
