Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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