every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize