Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
