White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
