thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
