He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
