You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
