i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
