I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
