Don't you send me to vm
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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