While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
