It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
