i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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