Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
