So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize