I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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