Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
